It seems that the tedious Scottish underclass habit of making hoax calls to the emergency services is to us what making abusive telephone calls in the middle of the night is to the Argentinians; unfortunately, we have no Borges to denounce it.
The practice seems to be outlawed by the Fire (Scotland) Act 2005. This law's ponderous title, so typical of the Scottish Parliament, makes one wonder what else is within its remit. Does it direct that a fire will be extinguished should it become too hot? Are we pursuing a rigorous, 'zero tolerance' approach to fire?